My Abba!!! If I Could Only Touch Your Garment…
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
Full of excitement, last Friday I started packing bags for vacation. A week off with my hubby…Could not WAIT, it didn’t matter where we ended up as long as we were together…. only to get hit with sickness… Sickness that has came with pain… pain I’ve had to shout to my Heavenly Father to carry me through. Pain that was far worse than my kidney stone or any pain I have ever had to endure. Walk-in clinic visit, ER visit, a visit to my regular doctor, and many calls to my gastroenterologist (Crohn’s doctor)…
Yes, many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it IS the LORD’s purpose that prevails.
Exactly a year ago, this very same week.. I was hospitalized and prompted by my Heavenly Father to start this blog. Of course, as I have mentioned… I put it off until I couldn’t sleep at night worried about my grammar, what I would write, or if it even matters if I write at all… Even this week, I have fell short and put off writing due to fear, being tired, or just all the emotions I have went through this week. But guess what… I have not found peace until I decided to open my laptop, open His word, and let His words flow out of me..giving me peace somehow through all of this… Indescribable peace that came only come from HIM!.. The doubt of it mattering is only coming from the enemy who seeks to keep me upset, in agony, and trying to steal someone the blessing that this may bring (even if the blessing is for ME, by finally releasing peace into my heart from this week of pain)… This blog matters because it matters to my Heavenly Father…He reminded me again this week… He will leave the 99 to go after the 1. Wherever that 1 may wander…He will do anything it takes for that 1 to come back to His flock.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
Faith… I cried out on my knees to my King for healing. Faith so deep… Faith that I know was heard through tears, gritted teeth from the pain, shouted scriptures & hymns sung to get through the pain… I was reminded by a friend of the lady in the scripture in Matthew 9:18-26 “For she said within herself, If I may but touch His garment I shall be whole.”…..”Take heart daughter, your FAITH has healed you.” Oh yes, if only I could just touch His garment…
I’m still recovering and healing. Through all of this I have had such emotions… I’ve thought of Job, I can not imagine what he went through. Lost his sons and daughters, open sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head, so much more…yet still fell to the ground and worshiped the Lord. I’ve thought of Jesus… Oh, what agony He went through…unfathomable agony… hung on a cross for all of the world’s sin… even for the ones who hate Him.
Yes, I have endured pain this week, but it is NOTHING compared to what others… especially Jesus.. have and are going through. Mine is temporary… People who don’t except our Heavenly Father as their Lord and Savior will be in agony forever… This trial has truly made me realize God will never give me more than I can handle and He is the only reason I draw my next breath. I thought the hospital stay was as far as I could go on humbling myself on my knees, but I realized this has made me humble myself that much if not more… God has carried me… My ABBA … My Father…
“And He said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: NEVERTHELESS not what I WILL, but WHAT thou WILT….” Mark 14:36
Not only did I learn how strong and tough I truly am this week. I also am reminded to be still and content wherever I am… Rather it be vacation on the lake, beach, or at home on the couch catching up on all of Food Networks shows… I need to be happy regardless of the situation I am in and always praise HIS GREAT NAME! It all happens for a reason, He sees the bigger picture… He sees what “might have happened” if we were to have traveled… Even when He doesn’t take the cup..even when His will and way is hard…I trust Him and will continue to trust Him until I meet Him. It is all for a purpose.
“My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth…”
And all the world will know HIS GREAT NAME!
P.s. For all of you out there suffering pain… from loss of a loved one, health, or anything in this world that has got you down. I pray for you… I pray my Heavenly Father holds you a bit tighter today and lets the warmth of His presence wash over you like never before. Just be held by Him…Reach out for your ABBA… In Jesus Name….Amen